


Happier

by Re_gay_tionships



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Ed Sheeran - Freeform, F/F, Happier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 03:03:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10688460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Re_gay_tionships/pseuds/Re_gay_tionships
Summary: A Bechloe fic based on the song Happier by Ed Sheeran.Inspired by a tweet by @weirdbrittsnowLife has never been particularly easy for Beca Mitchell. Ever since the divorce of her parents, it has just been a swirling mess of darkness and bad luck. So it’s no surprise that the one time she decides to try…to let her walls down and let her hope rise, she is left broken again…maybe worse than before.





	Happier

Life has never been particularly easy for Beca Mitchell. Ever since the divorce of her parents, it has just been a swirling mess of darkness and bad luck. So it’s no surprise that the one time she decides to try…to let her walls down and let her hope rise, she is left broken again…maybe worse than before.

It’s an extremely stressful day at the studio and Beca’s head is pounding, mind still racing as she tries to relax and settle down on the couch.

 _The apartment is so empty…_ She thinks.

She notices the lack of color and the darkness that surrounds her. Suffocating her. She can’t sit here.

A walk. Maybe a nighttime walk will help clear her mind. She drags herself upstairs to grab a jacket trying to avoid looking at the empty picture frames. They used to hold such happy memories and smiling faces, but now they are just blank reminders of the past.

 

 

She doesn’t know how long she walks for but twilight fades into a dark night and she figures that she should start heading home-- That’s when she sees it…

A shade of red that she will never forget. One that she has come to know so well over the past six years. The person that she connects with more than anyone else in this world. Now she watches that girl holding the hand of some brown-haired boy as they walk down the opposite side of the street together.

Beca stops in her tracks. She’s hit with a hundred different emotions all at once and it’s almost as if she can’t feel anything at all. Anger. Jealously. It has only been one month since their relationship of almost two years ended, yet here she is…Chloe Beale…looking as joyful as ever, practically skipping down the sidewalk. Beca can’t believe it. She won’t admit it to anyone but she has been having possibly the worst month of her entire life trying to cope. Now hardly any time has passed and Chloe is already in the arms of some random guy. Meanwhile Beca can still feel the way that Chloe’s hand fits in her own…or, used to fit.

She’s transfixed. It’s painful but she’s unable to look away. The knot in her stomach is growing, winding tighter and tighter. The air in her lungs is trapped and she’s not sure she can handle it—until the sound of a very familiar laughter enters her ears. He must have said something hilarious because Chloe throws her head back laughing and she wears the biggest smile she has ever seen. The man’s smile is almost a mirror image. In this moment, it finally hits Beca; Chloe truly does look happier.

The couple turns and heads into one of the local bars. One that she and Chloe used to visit quite often. Beca is still standing in shock, the image replaying in her mind mixed with memories of all the times she hurt Chloe. It’s like a bad mashup. All conflicting chords and uneven tones that only hurt more the longer she listens. The longer she thinks.

Eventually she remembers how to move and breathe, but her mind is still locked in another world. She pulls her feet forward, step by step, taking her further and further away from that agonizing encounter.

She makes it to her room, takes off her shoes, and crawls into a ball on top of the covers before the first tear falls. And with that the flood gates are opened.

She knows she has people she could call. People like Jesse or Amy. People who told her they would help if she needed anything at all. But she just offers them fake smiles and tells them that she is fine because she doesn’t need to hear things like, “It’s gonna be okay” and “You’ll find love again one day”. She needs her crazy, bubbly, red-headed best friend that turned her life around and helped her discover a whole other side to herself. A side that is capable of feeling much more than angst and sadness. She showed Beca how to be proud of herself and how to step out of her comfort zone. She made her less afraid of being vulnerable and open. And most of all, she taught Beca how to love and what it is like to be happy.

Minutes and hours tick by as she lies curled up on the bed that seems much too big now that she is all alone. Her eyes sting and her pillow is stained with tears that have finally ceased. There’s no way she is going to be able to sleep, so she trudges down to the kitchen in search of something to help drown the thoughts. She isn’t normally a heavy drinker, but tonight one beer turns into two and before she knows it she’s sliding down onto to the cool tile floor in the corner of the kitchen, taking whiskey shots straight from the bottle.

She can almost hear the voices from her past singing, “Two bottle of whiskey for the way…” in a perfect harmony that’s as equally beautiful as it is sad.

Everywhere she looks something reminds her of Chloe. She can see her dancing around the kitchen while making breakfast, singing along to the music from her ipod. She can see her at the dining room table with her reading glasses on, grading papers from her classes. She can see the two of them cuddling on the couch for countless movie nights that Beca was more than happy to put up with.

But as quickly as these thoughts come, so do memories of everything that went wrong. Beca coming home from the studio at 2am to find out she forgot about their planned date night. Missing Chloe’s choir students’ concert because some artist wasn’t satisfied with a song and needed her to fix it immediately. The fights over text, call, and in person. The yelling, the anger, the crying. And the worst was coming home to find Chloe curled up, asleep on the couch or in bed with messy makeup and tear-stained cheeks and never finding out the reasons why…

She takes another shot.

_Chloe must be better off with him…right?_

There are so many people out there that deserve someone as wonderful, talented, passionate, beautiful, and caring as Chloe Beale. Beca knows that there are much better candidates for the redhead’s love, but that doesn’t make her own feelings diminish. A mixture of emotions and alcohol bring on another round of sobbing. She clutches her knees to her chest and leans her forehead against them. She holds on as tight as tight as she can, gasping for air as her body shakes. Beca is sure her neighbors can hear her cries, but it’s the least of her worries right now. She’s dizzy and hyperventilating, mumbling between broken breaths, “I…I lo-oved h-her…….I still love…h-her…” and letting the sobs continue.

And now all she she can think about is the event that set this all off. Seeing Chloe for the first time since they parted. And seeing her happy…with someone else…

She’s tired of smiling through the pain. Of hiding behind her eyeliner and badass persona. Chloe broke down those walls long before they were girlfriends. Chloe was persistent. She never gave up on reaching out to Beca. She became a shining ray of hope signaling that there was a better way to live life. A life full of laughter and hugs and warmth and all of the things that she used to despise because she thought she would never have them. Chloe was everything she needed in a best friend.

And when they started dating, she knew it was too good to be true. She knew that one day Chloe would get tired of trying to figure her out and break down her defenses. She knew she would mess this up just like every other good thing that’s happened in her life. She knew that she would feel this empty.

All she can hope is that whoever Chloe is with now will treat her so much better and give her the world that she deserves. Be everything that Beca couldn’t be for her.

So now she sits… and waits for her feelings to fade. She lets people tell her that it’s going to be fine and that she will get over, but only she knows the real truth: She will always be waiting. Waiting for her best friend. Waiting for the love of her life to return. Waiting for something that will never happen because Chloe Beale is gone, and without Beca Mitchell in her life she is happier. With someone else, she is happier.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first shot at writing a sad fic. Let me know what you guys think!


End file.
